Colour

A touch of red, fiery wrath of a father scorn’d.
A hint of green, fresh and rejuvenating scent of the wild.
A shade of yellow, the warmth of the fire on a cold night.
A drop of blue, the gloom, the sadness, unwanted yet inevitable.
A deep brown, the eyes of a lover, filled with words, unsaid.
A lovely mauve, the sweet smell of belonging, of everything, of nothing.
A rosy pink of a mother’s lips, like petals of an exquisite flower, kissing her newborn.
A little orange, spilled across the dusky, twilit sky.
A sliver of grey, the clouds, laden with rain.
The black darkness of death.
The white light of life.

A Question

I’ve been wondering and I still haven’t reached a conclusion yet so I have a question for you all -

Would you prefer to know the precise date and time of your death or not?

While on one hand, if you knew when you’re going to die, you could bid your loved ones goodbye and do everything on your bucket list before you finally kick your bucket, on the other hand, the knowledge can as well turn out to be a burden. If you knew when you are going to die, it can turn into an obsession, a sort of count down to your inevitable end, to the point where you lose sight of what’s important, that is, living the life that you have left.

What do you think?

When I Was A Little Girl

When I was a little girl, I was told that all the things in life could be classified as either right or wrong. I was taught how to do that and I was told specifically to pick the right ones. I was brought up to believe that if I did all the ‘right’ things, my life would fall into place and everything will be alright. But now I’m not sure. I’m starting to think the line that divides the right and the wrong doesn’t really exist.

When I was a little girl I used to believe there were only two kinds of people, good and bad. But now I’m starting to figure out how people have so many layers to them and so many shades of all kinds of traits. No one’s perfect and I guess, that’s okay.

When I was a little girl, I was made to believe we could only love once. Maybe, I just watched too many movies or maybe, I read too many fairytales. Or maybe even listened to too many love songs. I believed that when I met my knight in shining armour, my life would get cheesy background songs automatically and everything would be magical. But now, I’m not so sure if that’s how love works. You can love more than one person at once or maybe no one at all. It’s pretty mundane and ordinary and at the same time pretty magical too.

When I was a little girl, all the adults seemed to have all the knowledge in the world. They had everything figured out, how people became stars when they died, how the rain was just God watering his plants in heaven, how clouds were just pieces of cotton the wind blew away. And now I stand on the thresh-hold of adulthood and I’m starting to worry that adults are as clueless as we once were and still are.

When I was a little girl, what frock should I put on was one of the most difficult decisions I had to take. Now, I’m faced with all the choices that’ll decide how my future turns out to be and I’m feeling lost.

Can I please just be a little girl again?

Other Side of The Moon

Have you had moments where every little thing bugs the fuck out of you? When every thing suddenly seems pointless and you just want to scream out at the top of your voice? When every thing you do is some how not even close to good enough? When you want to put your thoughts into on paper but you can’t find the right words? When everyone seems to be hell-bent on pointing at your flaws and you don’t even want to fight their doubts because somewhere in your mind, you’re feeling the same? Ever feel like you’ve been walking for days to realise you’ve been going in circles? Ever felt like you know what is to be done but you can find neither the strength nor the will to do it? Ever feel like you’re this close to giving up but you’re not ready to let go of your dreams just yet?

Have you ever wanted to take a leap, wanting to believe you can fly but haven’t for the fear of falling? Have you ever felt like a volcano that’s been dormant for so long that people have forgotten that it can actually explode any moment?
Have you ever felt like writing a blog post and giving it a name that’s completely irrelevant with respect to its contents, like this one? Have you ever wondered what would life be like if you were not you but somebody else?

Do you ever hate the people you’re supposed to love and love the ones you’re supposed hate? Do you thank the universe for the people in your life even though they annoy the fuck out of you?

Have you ever felt like a plastic bag, like that Katy Perry song? Have you ever wanted to cry for no reason at all? Have you ever wanted to laugh for no reason at all? Have you ever felt like you’ve been running after all the wrong things?

I have.

Mirror

If I was a mirror, I’d be convex because then I could show the people that they all look pretty funny to me. Because I like to look at the bigger picture. Because I like to believe that the good things and happy times are always closer than they appear.

What kind would you be, if you were a mirror?

Love,
Signet

Shut up, I’m ranting.

It’s been a while since wrote a silly ‘let me just rant about stuff no one cares about’ post, isn’t it? Well, here I am to give you all live updates about my extremely mundane and ordinary life. -drum rolls-

Actually, I just felt the urge to write. Write nothing, something. I don’t really know why I’m here and what I’ll write about. I’m just here because I am and I’ll let my fingers run wild on this keyboard, hoping it makes sense. To me, to you. I usually don’t like having no goal, no direction but sometimes, you just got to go with the flow, right?

This thing is, I’m feeling weird. Confused, shocked, sad, amused, a little useless and a billion other words which can not completely describe my state of mind. Maybe even a little insane. But that’s okay, because that’s what being young is all about, isn’t it? Being confused and trying to find the meaning of all the little things that make up our life what it is. I bet the grown ups are just as clueless as us, they just keep a straight face for our sake and theirs. I guess I’ll just have to wait a few more years to find out for myself. By ‘a few more years’ I mean ‘lots and lots of more years’ because I don’t think I’ll ever grow up into a sane adult person.

That reminds me; I’ll be in twelfth grade in a fortnight’s time. I’m so, I don’t know if there’s a word for it, somewhere between excited and scared. On one hand, I look forward to whatever comes next but on the other hand, I don’t want to grow up. Now, I know twelfth grade is not exactly ‘grown up’ but it’s not exactly ‘fuck the world, I’m having fun’ year too. I’ll have to put in all I’ve got because I’m also preparing for engineering entrance exams. I’m scared all my hard work won’t pay off. I’m scared I won’t work hard enough. See, I’ve never been a hard worker. I’m more of a ‘learn at the last minute and still ace the test’ kind of girl. At least I was till the tenth grade. The point is, I’m scared of the future.

Future’s weird, you know. You don’t even know if you have one. You never know what’s the last thing you’ll do. Maybe this is the last post I ever type or the last one you ever read. And that scares the shit out of me. The things, they keep changing. The people, they keep leaving. I’m lucky, I guess, to be alive and have the people I love with me, at least in this moment.

Anyways, what I was wondering yesterday is, how do we know the colours we see are exactly how the other people see them? We were born with our eyes, so we’ve never seen the world through anyone else’s eyes. That means you can’t be really sure if the green you see is not anyone else’s blue. The sky is blue but maybe your blue is someone else’s red, it’s just that they call red as blue. Does that make sense? I don’t know. The point I’m trying to make is, you just need to see the world a little differently and also I’m crazy, so don’t listen to me. And you are too, if you are still reading this.

On that note, I should probably shut up, but I shall leave you with a question. What are three things you wish you could tell some one but haven’t had the courage to? 

Lots of love,

Signet

 

 

 

Calypso

He told her of lands, far far away.

She listened, amused.

How long before he bids adieu,

Jailed in her own paradise, she mused.

Dreams of a lass, a victim of destiny,

To have a life, untainted by sorrows,

To have a love, immortal.

Cruel fate, to love the ones who have to leave.

Her smile shone, poignant,

From behind her golden tresses,

Netted carelessly on her magnificent face.

Her white dress, flirting with the wind,

Her eyes timeless, glinted,

With tears as she bade goodbye.

‘Cause the heroes always have to go,

But the memories, they linger,

Haunting Calypso.

Midnight Musings

What if this life we live is nothing but a dream? What if we wake up someday to find ourselves in some different part of the world as someone completely different? What if our real lives are completely fucked up so we dreamt ourselves up a nice little world in our heads? What if you’re actually a giraffe or a zebra dreaming of being a human?

What if in a parallel universe, our mythology is their science and their mythology, our science? And who is to say they are wrong and we are right?

If a time machine’s been invented in future, that means we could have met a time traveler and not realised it. Maybe someone you walk by in the market tomorrow is someone from the 22nd century and you wouldn’t even realise.

What if water is actually poisonous and it takes eighty years to kill us?

What if normal people are actually crazy and the crazy people are sane, maybe the ‘normal’ people are just more in number?

What if the life we’re living is actually the after-life and those who die are actually being reborn into the real world?

Who’s to say what’s wrong and what’s right?

***

PS- It’s my beloved blog’s 2nd birthday!

 

Hello, 2012!

It feels like just yesterday I was typing a post welcoming 2011 into existence while bidding adieu to 2010, and here I am again, saying hello to 2012, another year, another beginning. Reminds me how fleeting time actually is. 2011 was, in one word, boring. Well, of course there were some highs too, but for the major part, it was blah. The worst thing that happened this year was 11th grade. It sucked so frickkin’ much. I bet 12th grade sucks even more. On the other hand, the good things that happened this year include my new cell phone, scoring a perfect 10 CGPA in the 10th grade, having my bestfriends stick by me a whole another year. I’m thankful for all that, I’m thankful for my family which annoys the hell out of me sometimes and I’m thankful for being alive to see another year being born.

New Year is also a time for making new promises to yourself, hoping you’ll be able to live up to your expectations and then a week later, going ‘What the hell, I’m not making any resolutions ever again.’ But we still make them and at least, we try. On that note, here is my list of resolutions which I hope to be able to keep.

• Be regular with my blog.
• Work out daily.
• Eat less junk.
• Try and read more books. (Suggestions?)
• Study harder.
• Learn sign language.
• Stop caring about what others think so much.

I hope you all have a safe and great night and an amazing 2012. If the world is ending this year, we might as well live it up. Happy new year!

Love,

Signet.

Away

He floated away,

Like the coloured patterns,

Behind my tight shut eyelids.

He slipped away, like water,

From between my fingers.

He flew away, like a scavenger,

Never to return.

Like embers he glowed,

Like smoke he vanished.

He never was mine,

Like the smell of earth before the rain,

He faded,

Back to where he came from,

The earth.

***

Now Playing | Lego House – Ed Sheeran